Forever Dusk
by StoriesUndone
Summary: So this is Edward's point of view of New Moon. It's fairly interesting and I'm really enjoying writing it! I hope you like it! :
1. Persuasion

**So this is my version of Edward's version of New Moon. I decided to call it ****Forever Dusk**** because dusk is the darker part of twilight, and obviously Twilight is the name of the first book. Well, I started when Edward & Bella (I call them Edwella for short, FYI) are still together, some things may be slightly repetitive because you've already read it in New Moon, but I hope you like it! ****Enjoy!****-Michelle**

**DISCLAMER: I obviously don't own Twilight, New Moon, and very soon to be, Eclipse (AHH I'M SO EXCITED FOR THAT!)**** All that is from the book I did not make up, ****it's**** all of Stephenie's [Meyer work. **** If I did**** own it****, I don't think I'd be writing fan fictions. Yup. Okay, now to the story.**

Chapter One: Persuasion

I watched her sleep peacefully. She was so pretty. Angelic, one might say. She breathed out heavily and her brows knitted together into a worried expression. Then it turned frustrated, like she didn't understand something. Then she said my name. This wasn't new to me. It happened almost every night. But there was something about the way she said it—she was confused, why was I there? Then it turned panicked, "Edward, No!" She rolled over one her back, "He just does that, don't mind him." I looked at her, wishing I could understand what was going on in her dream. I sighed and went over to her and stroked her face lightly so she wouldn't wake up. She startled me by crying out, "NO!"

I was sure this wasn't aimed at me, but nevertheless, it made me anxious.

"Bella?" I whispered softly in her ear. I kissed her neck softly. Her face became even more panicked than before. I realized she was going to wake up soon, and that I hadn't spent the night with her. Since I didn't want to startle her, I decided I should leave. "Happy birthday" I whispered, and went out the window in a flash of movement.

I ran through the forest thinking about her dream. Why had she been so nervous? I hated not being able to read her mind. I guessed it was probably about me exposing my secret. Yes, I decided, that was probably it.

I had bigger things to worry about. Today was Bella's birthday. I had been really excited about today, but Bella not so much. I could understand why of course. She was older than me now, in a way. But that wouldn't keep us apart. I being almost one hundred years older than her hadn't so far. Nothing could keep us apart, except for the fact that she was risking her life every second that she was with me. That was a problem that Bella was eager to fix, but I wouldn't allow it. It wasn't fair for her. I could control myself and she could live a happy human life. I was certain about as much. I arrived home and opened the door and saw my family scattered everywhere. Emmet and Jasper on the couch—Rosalie and Alice arguing over something I didn't bother to listen to. Esme was sitting and reading something. I assumed Carlisle was in his office. I looked at the clock. It was nearly time to go. I sighed.

"Okay, I'm leaving. If you're coming with me, you need to get into the car _now_" I looked directly at Alice and Rose, knowing how much their arguments, not very constant but annoying, held us up at times. _"He always has to boss us around, like he's the master of all that is. Like Alice can't get to school without him anyway…"_ Rose's thought's came into my head. I shot her a look. "Right. Who drove you to school almost every day?" I said. "_That was until Bella came along_." I sighed. "Rosalie. Shut up"She rolled her eyes at me and went up the stairs. Alice went into the car with me. "I'm so excited for today! How's Bella shaping up?" She asked me eagerly"I told you already, she's not very excited about it." I looked at her_"Well, I can always force her. It's not like she can resist you anyway"_ She thought"That's true" I smirked at her.When we got to the school, Bella hadn't arrived yet so Alice and I waited by the car. She was practically jumping up and down with excitement.

"Alice, calm down." I said, slightly frustrated, but I couldn't help smiling at her. It was good that at least one of my sisters liked Bella enough to consider her as a sister. Finally her truck pulled in to the parking space next to ours. Alice, no longer containing her excitement, ran over to her. "Happy birthday, Bella!" She exclaimed so loudly I was sure she meant for anyone in the parking lot at the time to hear.

She shushed Alice, but of course she ignored her. They bickered for a moment and then approached me. I reached my hand out to her and she took it, her eyes gleaming with excitement as they always did when I touched her. Her heart rate excelled and I smiled, hearing it. We talked about her not wanting presents, me playing it up a bit to try to change her mind. No such luck. "Eighteen isn't very old. Don't women usually wait till they're twenty-nine to get upset over birthdays?" Alice asked, though she knew where we where getting at. I tried to hide my anguish over this subject."I'm older than Edward." She mumbled, and she looked truly miserable. I sighed.

We argued a bit about her coming after school to our house, and of course we won. School passed by slowly, though not as slow as it would have if Bella wouldn't have been there. Naturally it would be slow for someone who had learned the material to many times to count. We drove to her house we went to watch Romeo & Juliet. We parked in the driveway. I decided to give her something that would make her forget about her worries. I leaned in close, stopped for a second to make sure I was in control, and kissed her. She rapped her arms around me, and as much as I wanted to enjoy it (and a part of me did), I had to pull away, because I could feel the danger coming on. I could see the faint disappointment in her eyes, but it was all for her own good. Her very scent made me thirst for her, and our kisses even more so.

"Be good, please" I whispered, inhaling her breathtaking scent. I kissed her again, and she remained perfectly still. I knew she treasured our every moment.

She put in the movie as I lay down on the couch. This was going to be interesting. We discussed Romeo for a bit, and at the end I told her about how I envied him about him being able to end his life so quickly. She seemed a little confused, with me being jealous of him. She seemed to think I envied him the _girl_. That was absurd to the least degree. She seemed surprised about the Volturi, but I saw it as obvious. Like I would, or _could_, live without her. Charlie came and brought dinner, and then we left in the car. I explained to her about how important this was to my family. She groaned as we pulled into the driveway and she saw all the décor Alice had put up. This was seriously testing my temper. I took a deep breath to keep me from screaming at her. The last thing I needed was to get on her in a worse mood. Not that I liked screaming at her, anyway.

As we got out of that retched truck, she asked me, "If I develop this film, will you show up in the picture?" She looked truly curious. I looked at her and just started laughing. It _was_ fairly hilarious. The absurdity of it all. I faintly wondered who had started on these cynical myths. Then we started into the house. The persuading part was over, now the fun part was about to begin.

**So that was the first chapter, I hoped you all liked it. ****In the dream, he was kissing her neck, and I thought that should be why he kissed her neck in her dream. ****The same for ****when he whispered happy birthday. ****Sorry for the lack of dialogue, but it would basically be the exact same thing, so I just put in descriptive paragraphs instead. I'll update once I get a decent amount of reviews. Thanks and until next time, **_**ciao**_


	2. Finally Got What Was Coming

**Sorry for the long wait, I've been really preoccupied. This was a really hard chapter to write, and I don't think it turned out quite well as expected. Anyway, I hope you like it, nevertheless.**

**P.S: I'm trying to speak like Edward, HAHA. Eclipse was amazing. Just wow. Anyway, enjoy! (:**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own the Twilight series, and if I did I would kill Jacob Black. The quotes from the books used in this story are the property (is that how you say it?) of the amazing ****Stephenie**** Meyer. (:**

Chapter Two: Finally Got What Was Coming

We walked in and my family was there. They all chanted, "Happy Birthday, Bella!". Unsurprisingly, she blushed and looked down. She looked so distressed it made me feel sympathetic. I kissed the top of her head. As Emmett, Carlisle, and Esme all acknowledged Bella, I looked over at Rosalie. Of course, I had warned her not to be so cold to Bella today—at least she wasn't glaring. Her thoughts clearly stated that she wanted nothing more than to get out of the room. I looked over at Jasper, and he was reassuring himself that he had enough self control.

"_You can do this—you've done well in school so far. Anyway its not like she's bleeding or anything_"

I was always worried about Jasper; about my whole family. But I knew all of them cared deeply for Bella. All except one. Rosalie was a problem, and I knew Bella was hurt by it. But she would never _hurt_ her. No. Even the very thought contradicted itself.

"Time for presents!" Alice interrupted my thoughts.

"Alice, I told you I didn't want anything—"

"But I didn't listen. Open it." She handed her the present. I couldn't help feeling slightly anxious…She looked confused when she opened it. Obviously, since it was almost empty.

"Um…thanks" She said faintly.

Jasper explained to her what it was while everyone laughed.

"_This is so exciting, wow!_" Alice's thoughts came into my head. I fought against the urge to roll my eyes.

"Open mine and Edward's next!" She said in a high pitched voice.

Bella turned to stare at me fiercely. "You promised."

"I didn't spend a dime." I told her, brushing a strand of hair out of her face. I knew I had her. **(Haha the wonderful powers of dear old Edward.)**

She took a deep breath and turned back to Alice. "Give it to me." She sighed, as if she was agreeing to do slave labor or something. She rolled her eyes at me as she took the paper, and I felt a thrill of excitement. She began to open the present, and I heard her say "shoot!"I looked down in horror.

I comprehended everything in a matter of two seconds: she had cut her finger, I had to stop breathing, and Jasper was going to attack her. I had to get her out of the way. I saw Jasper beginning to pounce and I yelled "NO!" and threw myself at Bella. Everything crashed around us. Jasper slammed into me. I grabbed him quickly from behind, his thoughts filled only with the fierce need of getting to her. I glanced at Bella—her arm was a bloody mess (no pun intended). Her eyes were shocked and hurt. How could I have let this happen? No. That was not the question to ask. Why hadn't I taken extra measures to prevent it? As Emmett took Jasper away, I crouched over Bella, growling angrily. The anger was aimed more at myself than at Jasper.

Rosalie looked smug, an I-Told-You-So expression on her face. "_Finally got what was coming to her._"

I didn't have time to be angry with her now. Carlisle walked up to us.

"Let me pass by, Edward" He said. Then his thoughts came, "_Do you honestly think I would hurt her_?" I let him pass by. He decided to move her to the kitchen and I lifted Bella effortlessly. This was my fault. My entire fault. It was always my fault. Every time she got hurt. Well, not every time, because she was always tripping on her feet. _I_ was the death of _her_.

I stood over her, reminding myself not to breathe. The urge to bite her—to drink her blood, to taste it—it was overwhelming. The scent could have made me dizzy if I could have been.

"Just go Edward," She sighed.

"I can handle it" I said, trying to sound convincing.

"You don't need to be a hero" She said "Carlisle can fix me up without your help. Get some fresh air" She looked distressed. Probably the blood. She wasn't the only one.

She winced as she felt pain in her arm.

"I'll stay." I said.

"Why are you so masochistic?" She mumbled wearily.

"_Because I love you!_" I thought angrily. "_Why else_?"

"Edward, you may as well go find Jasper before he gets to far. I'm sure he's upset with himself, and I doubt he'll listen to anyone but you right now." Carlisle said. "_And you need to clear your as well"_

"You might as well do something useful" Alice said.

Did they really want me to leave so much? But…I was getting awfully uncomfortable not breathing, and I could still hear them from outside if I left…So I went outside and set out, much to my dismay, to find Jasper.

**Well, that's that, folks! I hope you liked it. It's really repetitive, but well what can I do? Hope you like it :D **


	3. Masochistic

**Hey there. I haven't updated for a while because I've been **_**so**_** busy but here is the new chapter! I hope you guys like it. I would really like to have some reviews! (:**

Chapter Three: Masochistic

I stepped outside and walked quickly over to the trees, taking deep breaths of fresh air along the way. The words _fresh air_ probably had more meaning to me than to any other simple human. The air was fresh and clean—clean from the dominant scent of Bella's blood that exposed me as the monster that I was more than anything else.

I broke into a run, following Jasper's thoughts ("_Weak…nothing more than an amateur…embarrassment to everyone") _to the place where he was. Next to the stream not a hundred yards away from where I had started.

I stopped a dozen feet away from him and surveyed him. He was sitting on a tree stump, his face in his hands.

"Jasper," I said softly "Jasper, it's alright…no one is angry with you.

"You don't understand," his voice was pained."I...I…_attacked_. I acted like an enemy." He couldn't seem to continue.

"I do understand, believe me. But—Jasper, what happened is nothing out of the ordinary. It was something to be expected. Not just from you, from anyone. You succumbed to your senses; that isn't unusual for someone with such little experience as you. As I said, no one, myself included, is mad at you." I spoke the truth. It was me that everyone ought to be mad at. After all, I was the one who had yet again placed Bella in a vulnerable situation. This was non different than the occurrence with James in phoenix.

Jasper didn't answer. His thoughts were fast and filled with self loathing.

I sat down on a rock and imitated Jasper by putting my face in my hands. I faintly heard Alice approaching but tried hard not to hear any sound but the stream. But I couldn't block out Alice's exasperated sigh when she saw the two of us.

Of course, the only reasonable and sensible way to handle this was to leave. To leave Bella behind for her own good. The very thought threw tension and misery through me which was so intense I felt like I was being torn to shreds. This was a decision I was to selfish to make.

Yet, what if I summoned up the courage to do it? I could withstand anything else, why not this? It was simple. When we would leave, the danger would go away/ I could deal with the eternal anguish. And Bella…she would find distractions. She would 

overcome it. I was sure I could live my so called life to that extent of grief. Yes. It was the only possible solution…

And yet, how could I bring myself to hurt her? The memory of her in the hospital, with too many injuries inflicted onto her because of me, flew into my head. Her eyes and panic at the very mention of leaving.

Her words from before floated into my head. "Why _are you so masochistic?_" Was it really because I loved her? Or was it because my selfishness kept causing everyone pain, myself include? And what I was about to decide, or had already decided, was about to cause me more pain than anything else. All my instincts shied away from it, shielding me from the pain.

I finally looked up and met Alice's gaze.

"_You've decided to leave_," She thought, sadness profound in her eyes.

I nodded curtly. She nodded back, but slowly.

"Carlisle will be finished soon, you should get back." She whispered.

Without another word, I broke into a run.

**So that's that. I hope you liked it. Reviews are lovely :D**


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